Finally, I am starting to feel a bit better. I had my 3rd Avonex injection on Friday. Those injections make me hurt all over. Every bone and muscle in my body hurts, to the very core. It is unlike any pain I can explain. The fevers and chills were not there this time. I am not sure if it is because I took extra advil this time. The doctor said I could take a couple advil about 2 hours before the injection. So, I did that, and then took a couple more with the injection. Now, I am not sure that I was supposed to do that, but I did. The first 2 injections were horrible. I am not sure that I want to do that every week. I am not sure that this pain each week is worth it. However, not having the chills and the fevers made it easier to tolerate.

I am still tired and weak, but I am feeling more energized emotionally (thanks Dave!) I had a great conversation with Dave today and something occurred to me. My attitude lately has really sucked! I am not sure if the depression part of MS has taken a hold of me or what, but this is not who I am. I have always been an optimistic person. What the heck! The 1st time I got sick I kicked into this attitude of life is worth living and I have to live it. I started to travel, even if it was just spontaneous weekend trips, made a list of things I wanted to do and started to do them. I went out more, had fun, lived life. With this illness I have been like a snail. I have gone into a shell. I think it is time to get over that already. It seems like I have lost touch with everything that I loved and what I wanted to do with my life. This illness should not stop me from living. I can't let it. That is what I realized. That is what I have been doing. I can't allow that to happen. I know that I can't necessarily do things the same way, but I can still do them. I can't just sit around and wait for a cure to fall into my lap. I can't sit around and wait for someone to hand me all of the answers. No one creates my happiness. I do. If I want good things to happen for me, I have to create the circumstances in which they will happen.