This past week has been one of insight for me as the walk MS event ended. Being on the news and in the newspapers was quite the eye opener for me. I am glad to do it and happy that we had such a great response. It is great to think of how many people may have learned a little something about MS that did not know before, or of the person who may have MS but did not realize there were programs out there for them. What a great thing it is to have that coverage in the local media. For me however it was an eye opener because I did not recognize myself.

When I started this journey (life with MS) I knew it would be difficult. But what are your options? You just do the best you can. I had every intention to focus on my health and to be healthier. That was almost 3 years ago. The first 6 months I was lost, not sure what to do since I was not working. That is when this blog started. That is when I started to become active with the National MS Society and MSAA. That is wonderful and I am glad I was able to help as much as I have. Problem is my health, my needs....they were once again put on the back burner. Why is it that the most important thing for us to do (take care of ourselves) is the most difficult? I can take care of my son, my sister, my family, my friends, but not myself. That seems silly. We all are like that I think. It seems that there must come a time where we are faced with our reality and must choose to focus on our self for once. That is where I have finally reached.

With every illness, every treatment, every time in the hospital.....I have gained weight. It does not seem to make a difference if I eat healthy. Problem is eating healthy is not enough. For every step I make to become more healthy, something happens which only puts me back 3-4 steps (like being put on steroids). It seems like a vicious cycle that never ends. As if I just can't get ahead. So, I have decided that something drastic needs to happen. The person I saw on TV is NOT me! Sure, the person I am inside is the same and always has been. But, where did this other person come from? A result of my health? Yes. But do I have to accept that as one more health problem? NO! I have decided that I am going to do whatever it takes to become more healthy. Of course I would like to loose a substantial amount of weight while I am at it, but if I only loose some, that is okay. The most important thing for me is that I feel better, am able to function better, and that I have better control over my health.

I have come up with a goal that I think will help. I recently learned of the MS Challenge Walks that happen all over the country (I think there are 8-9 of them). It will take a lot of training in order for me to be ready to do this. It is walking 50 miles over 3 days. The one I am going for is around Labor Day weekend each year in Southern California. I figure I won't be ready for this year, but I can get ready for next year. So, my goal is to start slow. Walk a mile three times a week to start and go up from there. I can do a mile. I did more than that at this years Walk MS in Kennewick. So, if I push myself.....set my mind on it, I can get there. And, getting more exercise will only help me become more healthy. This is the area I have lacked in. I can eat healthy, but if I am not exercising regularly I won't get any actual results. I don't expect results overnight. To do that would mean that I would not really be healthy. True change, becoming healthy takes a long time.....it is a matter of creating a different lifestyle. That is my goal.

To help get to where I need to be, I am taking a cue from My MS Journal. This blog has been a wonderful resource for me to vent, discuss what I am going through, connect with all of you, learn more about MS, about me. I have started another blog that will be used to help keep me on track through my next adventure of taking control over my health. Wish me luck. I will also be raising funds for the National MS Society. My goal is to raise $5000.00 for the MS Challenge Walk 2009! Anything you all can help with would be greatly appreciated. They ask you to donate $2500.00 in order to attend, I would like to see if I can double that goal. I have just under 1 1/2 years to get there. :)

I hope that this finds each of you doing well. Take care!