I am sick and tired of my MS being front and center. It seemed to have become the theme last year and I am pretty determined that WILL NOT be the theme this year. SO....I am saying move over MS it is about time I start living my life again. The last couple of months have been really depressing for me.....as if the whole year was not depressing enough, but Christmas day and the next couple of days to follow made me realize that I have had it.

Christmas was not all happy and cheerful like in previous years. As much as I would have liked it to be...it just was not. The first part of the day was great....the second half, well my family was all torn apart. I am not going to really get into it here, but I will just say that is not normal for my family. My family is very close. We have always put each other first, we have always been there for each other....suddenly everything was just wrong. This past year has been difficult and a big part of that had to do with me and my health. I know that I don't have a lot of control over how my health responds but I can control how I react to it. I have watched my son the last couple of months and he does his best to deal with all of this, but it is hard. It is not fair for him to have to deal with this, and so this year my goal is to try and take as much of the focus off of my health as possible so that we can have as much of a normal life as possible. He deserves that....we deserve that! Not only does it effect my son adversely, but it does the rest of my family, my parents, my sister...everyone who cares....even all of you. Even me. It sucks to be sick, but when you are upset, angry, depressed and not dealing with it well you are only going to be worse off....so I am doing my best this year to not only take things day by day but to wake up every day with the attitude that today is a new day that is worth living! Even if I am in pain and not feeling good. Wish me luck!

I don't believe in making your typical New Years resolutions as I don't see the point. Everyone I know who has ever made them end up breaking them...so why bother. I do think it is wonderful to make personal goals for yourself however that are attainable.....so that is what I have done. Some of the things on my list include taking a day trip with my family (to include my parents) at least once a month to somewhere we have never been. For example....this summer I want to try and convince them to come with me on a weekend trip through the Olympic National Park. I think that would be a blast. There is a lot to see and do in Washington, Idaho, and Oregon (within a couple hours from our home....some trips may end up being weekends) that we could plan that we have not done....or have not done in a very long time, and of course Nate has not done anything here seeing how he has not grown up here. It would be a great way to plan quality time with the family and could be educational and relatively cheap as well....depending on the trip. It could be as simple as a drive up the mountains for a picnic lunch. The possibilities are endless.

At the beginning of this week I made a list of everything I "needed" to get done with the thought that if I get them done then great and if not then oh well.....I just need to take things day by day. I think that is the best mentality to have so that I don't stress myself out. The thing is that the week is almost over and most of it I have been able to get done....at least everything that I really needed to get done is done and the things that I wanted to do I think I will get accomplished as well. :) I have broken things up by what I think I can accomplish in a day and so far so good. I just have to remind myself not to over do things....not to give myself too many tasks because I don't have the energy that I once had....this body of mine just doesn't work like it used to. That has been a hard lesson to learn but if I can remember that and take things easy....put things into perspective and enjoy myself, then I think I can make this all work!

The thing is something strange has happened this week....I am actually happier. Is it because I am just telling myself that I am? Is it a trick....power of positive thinking? I am not sure, but I am going to do my best to continue it. Life is too short and there is still too many things I want to do. I figure I can either waste away or I can go out and do the best I can to live (with this illness that is.....yes, I now have limitations...but I can try and work around them, right?) Nathan even has had a better week this week. So, hopefully this is not just a fluke....hopefully this will last....hopefully I can keep it up. We will see, time will only tell. I am going to try my hardest though. That is all I can do!

I hope all of you are doing well and are off to a good start in 2007. Take care.