It is that time of year again....it is cold outside, the holidays are upon us and that can bring stress which can create problems for those of us with MS. So, as the season begins I wish you all the best and hope that your holiday season is happy and you are healthy. :) Just like over the last couple of years I will post Christmas music by Adam from time to time. If you would like to know more about Adam and his connection to us you can read about him here.

Also....I just wanted to let you all know, my friend Danielle has an online business and so if you are looking for ideas for you Christmas shopping, you can check our her website at Mysitc Mountain Boutique. She also has many other items available that are not yet online so if there is something you are looking for and can't find let her know (you can email her at info@mysticmtboutique.com) and she will let you know if it is something she has available. Just thought I would give her a quick plug...anything to help out! :)

We got back from Seattle very late last night....about 11 pm. The roads on the way back sucked....pooring down ice rain! Other than that, things went quite well. My appointment with the Head & Neck surgeon was very encouraging. Although I am not real excited about the idea of surgery, this particular surgery just may be the best thing that ever happened to me. It turns out I have a deviated septum, very small sinuses, and small nasal pathways. All of which is most likely contributing to my breathing problems but could also be contributing to my other medical problems (like my inability to get a good nights sleep). Turns out (although not surprising) that all of these things effect the others. The hope is that after having the surgery to open up my nasal passages and sinuses, not only will I be able to breathe a lot better (which should help my asthma) but I will respond better to the CPAP machine, be able to sleep better which will reduce the amount of fatigue I have which in turn will also help my heart and so on. It is like this big snowball effect. It has been a snowball effect in the wrong direction for too long and now we are going to turn all that around! (Here's to staying positive).

I am not quite sure when the surgery will be. The doc wants to keep me in the hospital overnight to be on the safe side and then would like me to stay in Seattle all week so that I am not going over the pass just after surgery. Although it will not damage anything, it could be quite painful to go over those elevations. Anyway, I should know on Monday. This means many more trips to Seattle. The surgery will be on a Monday. I will be in the hospital until Tuesday and then have my first follow-up on Friday (then I can go home). Follow-up will be weekly for a month and then monthly for a while. So, no slowing down on the traveling for a while.

My other tests and appointments went well. The gastric emptying study was not too bad. I basically had to eat a little oatmeal and then lie down for 90 minutes while a computer monitored me. I took a bit of a nap! Then I had my follow-up on the sleep study and I now have sleep apnea. Turns out I wake up like 7-8 times every three minutes, I am getting virtually no real sleep and I stop breathing on average 19 times a night. Plus my average oxygen level is 88-89%. Not good. They really don't want your oxygen below 95%. Anyway, my final appointment was with my neuro and it also went well. We talked about all the results...labs were good, EMG was good, some of my recent issues are not MS related but more likely to be due to my lung problems (which can cause stress to the rest of the body) but other things (such as the muscle spasms in my vocal cords) probably are from the MS. Botox can help with that. In regards to treatment, I will be going back on Copaxone. We had talked quite a bit about the idea of trying Cytoxan (which is a backup plan) but with my having surgery soon the last thing I want (and she agreed) is to supress my immune system with chemo. There has been studies done that show people have responded well to Copaxone after being on Novantrone (even if they did not respond well before the Novantrone) so this seems to be the best alternative at the moment.

Personally I am a bit relieved. I had mixed feelings about my options. I knew Copaxone was an option and was not real sure I wanted to go there as I did not respond to it, but I figure I will never know how I will respond unless I try. The worse thing that can happen is that it does not work and then we can do something different. In the meantime I am keeping positive that the Novantrone will have given my body the boost it needs to respond to Copaxone. Although the Novantrone worked great, it is a chemo and that is hard on the body. Plus, I am thinking that a shot a day it much better than and IV treatment at the hospital each month with steroids attached. Hate the steroids!

I am also very optimistic that this is all going to work out and not only will I feel better, but I will have more energy, finally be able to do some real exercise (without all the breathing problems) and if I'm off the steroids, loose some weight! Keeping the fingers crossed!

Next week we will be in Salt Lake for thanksgiving, so I want to wish all of you a Happy Thanksgiving now! I hope you will have a fantastic dinner, great time with the family, and a day to relax. Remember not to over do things (as it can be easy to do during the holidays) because stress is not our friend! Take it easy and enjoy yourselves! Happy Thanksgiving!

Okay, so this is not something I would normally have on my MS blog, however I think it is so important. Tyra Banks conducted a study with 10,000 girls and young women and the results are shocking! I would encourage every parent to watch this video and speak to your children. Matt Lauer opens the video stating if you have a teenage girl. Clearly this is relevant to any teenager no matter what the gender. Please watch.....



Now I feel that I should discuss this. Normally it is not the type of thing I would have on my blog. Talk about sex, teen pregnancy and the like. However, this issue is oh so important. I know first hand because I got pregnant at 17 and had my son at 18. Please don't take anything the wrong way as I discuss this because I have no regrets in regards to my decision of having my son and keeping him. However I feel it is important to be open and honest about how that decision changed my life. I love my son more than anything and am happy to have had the opportunity to have him, because for those of you who know me, he was my only opportunity.

I am not sure how many or if any teenagers out there will read this, but if you are a parent reading this, I would encourage you to talk to them...or have them read this....if preferable, have them contact me through my email. I would be happy to talk to them. Having sex at such a young age brings on consequences that you just can not imagine. Now, I know...there are so many rationalizations as to why it is okay. You may feel you are old enough, mature enough, worried that your boyfriend won't like you anymore. Your self-esteem may be destroyed because you grew up in a family who neglected you, you were a victim of molestation or rape, or some other type of abuse. These are all common reasons why someone would get involved in such a grown up act without the ability to understand what they are really getting into.

Then there are those who just don't really understand because they have not been taught one way or another. Sometimes not saying anything does just as much damage (in the instance of teaching abstinence only) as saying too much. There is a fine line. Of course you don't want to encourage your child to have sex...that is not what talking to them does. But, it is important they they fully understand the consequences and feel comfortable enough to have someone to go to. There is a real problem in this country and our children and grandchildren are the ones who will suffer, many times not realizing the problem until it is too late to do something about it.

Then there is the responsibility factor. Parents need to take more responsibility to teach their kids what the facts are, what the options are, and pray that they will make the right decisions. Being teenagers though, they are likely to screw up and so it is important they know that even if they do screw up you are there for them. Then there is the responsibility of the schools. 14% of the girls surveyed are having sex in schools!!! These teachers and administrators need to have a better handle on what is going on during school hours. Then again, I have a major beef with the way schools are today when it comes to education and discipline, so this should not surprise me. Yet it does!

If you are a teenager reading this, please think about what it is you want in life. What kind of life do you want. I know sometimes this is hard to think of at your age, because teenagers tend to live in the moment. However, if you really think about it I bet you could then realize how that goal/dream may never become realized if you have sex at your age.

When I was 12 I started to work at a doctor's office. My mother was the office manager and she got me a job working in the summer and on holiday breaks helping with medical records and purging charts when a new doc was brought into the practice. Not many kids get such an opportunity. After working there for a while, I wanted to go to University of Washington and get my nursing degree. I loved the nurses at the office and really looked up to them. As I got a bit older, and after a relationship that just about killed me, I wished I would have done things differently and went to Law school. You may have what you want to do with your life all figured out, or you may change what you want to do several times.

The reality however is that none of that is likely to happen if you have a baby as a teenager or get an STD. Not to say that having an STD would prevent you from going to college or getting a good job, but then again it all depends on what you want to do. Besides, no matter what you want out of life, my guess is a STD is not one of them. I don't know if you realize it but your risk of HIV is higher once you have had an STD. Also, your risk of some cancers are higher. Do you really want to take that chance? Well, you probably think to yourself, that will never happen to me. Let me tell you what it is like. I love my son more than anything and I am glad that I had him. However it was not easy. And, I was one of the lucky ones. I have parents who have been there every step of the way.

When I was 17 I got pregnant by a guy that I thought was the love of my life. A couple of months into my pregnancy he started cheating on me, hitting me...he was not a nice man. For a while I thought I had to stay with him and just put up with it because I loved him and he said he loved me. Not to mention I was having his baby, so I couldn't leave. I was wrong. The first time he beat me after my son was born I left. This is not always the way it happens. Sometimes the father is a good guy and does stick around, other times he leaves but is not abusive...just wants his own life. Anyway you look at it more times then not you will end up a single mom. So, what happens to your goals, your dreams? They are put on hold. If he does stay with you what happens to his goals and dreams? They are also put on hold.

If you are lucky (as I was) you will have some kind of work experience and the ability to get a job. Otherwise, you will have to rely on government programs to help pay for child care, medical care, and possibly food and rent. More times then not you will not graduate from high school and if you are determined one day will get your GED. I did get mine and put myself through college. Only I was not able to afford to go to law or nursing school. I was only able to put myself through a 2 year program where I also worked and took up to 20 credits a semester in order to get done quick because I have a child to support. Don't get me wrong, I value and cherish the education I have, this is just to help you understand that the decision to have a baby changed what I was able to accomplish in my life.

When your child is a baby, you will have many sleepless nights, you will worry, you will not have the opportunity to enjoy college like your friends, or go to parties, clubs, and experience the life that every 18-25 year old should get the chance to enjoy. You will be at home changing diapers. You will get a bit of a break when your child enters school, but then there are other things that will come up. Homework. Will you be able to help your child do homework when (s)he gets older knowing how much it has changed and that you did not finish school? Will you have the time or energy because you will be tired? It is hard enough for those couples who have a good education and job, a home of their own, and are married. How will it be for you as a single parent, making not much more than minimum wage? It will be difficult. Sure, you can do it but it is not easy. The reality is that it will never be perfectly easy. However if you wait there will come a day when you are ready to have a child and can support them better. You can afford to take time off, and your husband can help out.

These are all things I have had to struggle with as a single mom, and I have had it easier than many people I know who had kids at a young age. There was a girl I was friends with growing up who had her first baby at 15 and her second at 17. Although she was able to get some education (got a CNA license) her and her kids are still living at home with her parents even though her oldest is now in high school and she is over 30 years old. Even as a CNA, she was unable to make it work on her own. Another friend has struggled financially, never getting her GED because she never had the time. She was able to get a home and vehicle, the state helped her with childcare and medical but she made things work. She is 31 and just recently got to a place where she is really happy. I know of another girl, who I did not grow up with but met later on, who had two kids, never finished school, did not have a lot of support from family, and to this day relies on government programs to help her kids. Due to the depression she felt she also got involved with drugs and it took her a long time to get her life together....she still struggles.

Now, I know you probably read this and think well that will never happen to me. I hope you are right. I hope you are smart enough to realize that it is just too dangerous to have sex at your age. Not only is there the risk of pregnancy, and I know there are a few of you out there who are thinking I can have an abortion or give it up for adoption...and those are options, but remember if you have an abortion you have to live with that decision the rest of your life as well. It's not as easy to get over as you may think, and although adoption is another option, you would still have to put your life on hold for awhile, explain to everyone around you your reasoning for having a baby, getting pregnant, and there is still the very dangerous risk of an STD.

Now I know that (if you are a teenager) you may be thinking, lady, you don't know what you are talking about, but I do. I have been there and done it all. There is not much that would shock me actually. Some things of my own doing, some because I was forced to do so. I encourage any parents reading this to take time out to talk to your kids about this. Have them watch Tyra's show on Friday. TiVo it if you must. If they don't feel they can talk to you encourage them to talk to someone else. If you are a teenager reading this and you don't know who to talk to or where to go, email me. I would rather you contact me then do something you will someday regret.

I hope this helps! Please take care of yourselves.

So things are looking up when it comes to my health....or at least I would like to think so. First and best news lately is that all my lymphoma follow-up has come back negative, meaning that I am 3 years cancer free! Yeah!!! Secondly, tomorrow I head back to Seattle to see a Head, Neck, and Throat surgeon for a consult and to discuss possibly having sinus surgery. So, I am not really excited about the idea of surgery, but (and this is a big BUT) my doc thinks that if I have the surgery I can be off 1/2 my meds within a year. This would be GREAT!!! Not to mention the fact that for once I may be able to breathe. Turns out my lung function is only 36%. Not good! However, most of this actually has to do more with my sinuses then my asthma. Or so they think. Tomorrow I will find out.

Thursday, I have a follow-up with my neuro on Thursday and should be able to get back to some kind of treatment for my MS. All of my results will be in and so we can make a plan as to what is next. My guess is that whatever it is will have to start after my surgeries....yes, that is plural. The last thing to be happy about (when it comes to my health) is that my GI doc thinks I need to have a stomach surgery. Okay surgery sucks, but this one is less invasive and not as urgent. It is not laproscopicaly. Turns out some of my health problems (possibly the way I don't absorb nutrients properly, could be why I get such bad cases of nausea and GERD) could be the fact my stomach is an hourglass shape (moved up into the esophagus) when it is supposed to be more of an oval shape. This could explain a lot and my guess is when these things are corrected I will feel tons better. As much as I hate the idea of surgery....whatever works is worth it! Anyway, wish me luck. I will be back Friday and will let you all know what the plan is. Take care!